Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
