dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
