I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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