We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize