He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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