Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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