is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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