So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
