The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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