Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
