so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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