it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
