i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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