I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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