ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
