do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Your shirt... Was in my pants
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
