It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
