For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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