I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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