yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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