Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Randomize
