She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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