Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
