So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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