I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
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