Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
