Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
