I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
its liver damage thursday
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
