Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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