She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
