Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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