i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Still dying that you shit outside
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
