found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
you told grandpa to call you daddy
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
