So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
