Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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