He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize