the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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