Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
she woke up with a sticky ear
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
