i dedicated my morning wood to you.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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