For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
