too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Randomize
