how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
