i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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