is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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