fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
