Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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