Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I think people are normalizing furries
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
