I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
