Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
