How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
