youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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