so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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