In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
