he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
