ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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