And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
