sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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