one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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