he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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