New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
