He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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