you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
