I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
