Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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