At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
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