yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
